1. I can “manage” my feelings.
2. I can “control” my feelings.
3. I can’t or don’t “feel” my feelings.
And all of these ideas come from another idea…
That feelings are “wrong” or “weak”.
That feelings revealed that I’m “less than” or “not worthy”.
That they revealed I don’t have it all together…or that I’m failing.
That if I feel feelings – I have to blame myself or others.
That feelings caused me to do wrong or weak things.
That feelings would “control” me – and I needed to exercise “self control”.
There are 4 common types of men.
The men who strive to be disconnected from their feelings as much as possible. They are wanna be macho, rational or “moral” men…and often they embrace the “bad boy” persona, or live in an emotionally indifferent and disconnected world.
The men who “wear” their “heart” on their sleeve…and project, blame, and don’t stand up for themselves. They are like big babies…who need another momma.
And…then the men who swing between the two extremes. Trying to play the balance game and constantly reacting to the last extreme. These men often have to resort to some hidden addiction…food, porn, mindless entertainment, games, alcohol…whatever…to let their feelings “escape” unconsciously.
Then there is the man who feels what he his feeling…without judgement of himself or others…and most importantly…without actions that are dishonorable or unloving to another or to himself.