You know what sounds like a good plan for a marriage?
You get 50% of what you want…
They get 50% of what they want…
So then you can both be unhappy together.
It sounds ridiculous because it is.
It’s a failed model.
50% of what you want isn’t creating what you want. It’s settling.
And believing that you have to settle with your Partner and Lover (and that they have to settle with you) is the way of the fear driven life.
Does your marriage and life feel like a settle?
Maybe it’s because you’ve been copying people that have settled.
And if it doesn’t feel like a settle…are you sure your partner feels the same way? Because I know I’ve been guilty (and still am) of creating what I want…at the expense of not even understanding what Chloe wants.
Here are the facts. If you haven’t gotten SUPER intentional about creating a win for you…AND a win for your lover…
It won’t happen.
And you can’t create that type of communication if neither of you feel safe exploring what you want or even believe it’s possible to create together.
Running a relationship on autopilot will land you in three places:
1) Mediocre. This will show up later in life as some of the hardest and most regret filled years you can have. Normally after the kids grow up and after you’ve kept your mouth shut to “keep the peace” for 2 decades.
2) Separate but living together as “friends” – of course you won’t call it that. But it is. You’re not lovers. There is precious little intimacy, mutual respect…and the sex is mechanic.
3) Divorced. …so then you can repeat the pattern with someone else.
How about instead of vowing to love no matter what…you commit to finding a full blown epic win for both of you in all that you do.
Or keep test driving the car that everyone else drives.
And become a statistic.